a little less disgusted

I'm not refreshed, but I am well-rested, or at least I should be. I must still be dealing with a combination of stress and not feeling well by being extremely tired. I fell asleep by 7:00 last night and actually slept pretty well. I only woke up about 4 times last night, which is a vast improvement over the norm of 10. My muscles are still sore, but I think the sleep is helping to give my body time to get back to normal.

Unfortunately, the sleeping a lot thing doesn't help me to get much work done around the house. I've been trying to prepare for the visit of the man's family, who will be doing their Thanksgiving celebration at our house again this year. I will be visiting my family up north, so the man is on his own with the hosting duties. Still, I feel like I should do my part in readying the house for the onslaught of inlaws. I made a lot of progress this past weekend, and in the process decided to reorganize my filing system yet again. I'm beginning to think I should go to rehab for organizational addiction. I wonder if there is such a thing.

Anyway, I leave for my parents' house on Wednesday afternoon and will return home Saturday. This will allow me to bypass all familial gatherings for the man. I'm sure that sounds rude, but it is an effort to avoid irritating conversation. I'm not in the mood to be harassed about marriage right now, which seems to be the favorite line of questioning these days for the man's other side of the family.

All in all, I'm happy to get away for a while and am looking forward to seeing my family again. And I plan on wearing loose-fitting clothing so that I can gorge myself on the Thanksgiving feast.

it figures

It figures that the first accumulating snowfall would happen on a day when the facilities guy is on vacation and I have to open the office building. No replacement or fill-in was sent over so I spent 45 minutes of my morning shoveling snow. I really hate my job today.

Oh, and in the spirit of nothing, I've obviously resolved to return to sporadic blog posting. I also hate my internet connection and my cell phone that won't hold a charge.

and no, that is not my ass

My pelvis is out of alignment again. This is a bad thing. I have to wear a special belt in an attempt to keep the bones from moving, at least until I can get enough muscular strength built back up to keep things together on their own. I haven't posted about the belt, mainly because I hate it. I wear it under my clothes, over my underwear. Underwear, I must add, that is not the type of underwear that I'm accustomed to wearing. I know: too much information. I usually prefer the thong variety of unders, but now am being forced to wear unders with more material so that the belt doesn't rub my skin off. Because nothing says sexy like a flesh-colored belt and chaffed skin. Except maybe a flesh-colored belt over granny-ish panties. Okay, so maybe they aren't quite granny panties, but they are much more modest than I prefer. Below you will see a lovely model wearing the fabulous belt:

She has chosen to wear a bodysuit or leotard of some sort. With nylons? She must be crazy. Anyway, Ms. 80s Workout Video pictured above and I are obviously uncomfortable enough with the belt-wearing that we are forced to make bad wardrobe decisions. The manufacturer says that there is "minimal bulk" associated with the belt, but they lie. Who wants to make their midsection look any bigger than it actually is? Not I. Yet I wear the damned belt daily, all day, only to be freed when I am going to sleep. Also, the material that keeps the belt from sliding, they give it a clever name but it is the same stuff that you use to keep rugs from sliding on the floor or to line cupboards. Last time I checked, I don't keep mugs and plates on my ass.

That sound of velcro you hear in the next bathroom stall? It probably isn't any kind of adult diaper, it is probably some poor soul who is unfortunate enough to have been prescribed to wear a belt under her clothing. And that clothing is probably ill fitting as a result of the belt because either a.) their pants are too tight or b.) their pants are falling down because it feels awfully ridiculous to be wearing two belts at the same time. And that person must now piss every time they even think about a beverage because the stupid belt is constricting their bladder.

I will say that the belt has its good points. Up until this weekend it had been doing its job quite well. Apparently, the belt decided to take a siesta and in the meantime my muscles and bones plotted some sort of revolution. The result of their jubilee is me not being able to stand upright, bend, or breathe without wincing. And yet I still have to wear the belt. Oh, the wonders of modern medicine.

so much for posting daily

I would've posted yesterday, but I would have had to bend down to plug my laptop back in (I'm in the habit of keeping all energy-sucking gadgets unplugged when not in use) and that wasn't an option. I need to train the pets to do those types of things for me. As you may have guessed, I am still in a lot of pain. I opted to stay home from work yesterday so that I could go in to the doctor and get my back/pelvis/hip thing worked on. I have to go back to the doc on Thursday to see if what they did worked and to try again (if the swelling has gone down). I was in a new realm of hurting after the appointment so I decided that lying on the couch with an ice pack under my ass area would be the best medicine. That and taking the pain killers every 4-6 hours, which I must say only served to lull me into a false sense of feeling better. I say false sense, because if I moved so much as an inch expletives began streaming out my mouth as if I had some sort of pain-induced Tourette's.

It's still early and I'm contemplating whether or not to chance going to work today. I don't think there is any way around it and I'm not sure I can take another day cooped up in the house. I've got a ton of work to do and I'm afraid that not going in to work will cause me more stress, which is never a good thing when you already feel like nine kinds of ass.

Too bad I can't work from a supine position. Or in my pajamas.

hurt

I don't know what I did to my pelvis/back/hips since last night, but whatever it was, it wasn't good. I've been sore for the past week, increasingly so since my last physical therapy session, but when I woke this morning I could hardly get out of the bed. Unfortunately, it seems worse than just having "slept on it wrong."

If I wake up tomorrow in a similar state, I think it will require a trip to the physical therapist and possibly the orthopaedic specialist. I'm immobile at best and the pain is worse than I've felt in quite a while. I hope that things are just out of alignment and that the recurring pain doesn't call for more drastic measures. The man has tried to help me to loosen my muscles, using the method that the therapist prescribed, but that doesn't seem to be helping because I cannot make the readjustment myself. I've been in quite a funk due to the pain. It's hard to concentrate and/or to be good company when you feel like shit.

For now, I'm off to take another muscle relaxer and pray for sleep.

was it colder in the 20s?

I just watched The Changeling. I highly recommend it. Clint Eastwood sure has a knack for directing good, yet depressing, films. I must say it is quite refreshing to see a film that doesn't have to rely on sex to keep the plot moving.

I have one issue with the movie, which may not be a legitimate dispute. I'm not sure. Angelina Jolie's character wears heavy coats all throughout the film. The film is set in Los Angeles. In the spring and summer. I assume that it would be too warm to warrant a jacket that heavy, but then again, I've never been to California. I may have found the movie even more interesting had my focus not been repeatedly grabbed by what I consider to be an odd choice of wardrobe. I have two theories for the jacket/gloves combo:

1. Maybe the costumers were just trying to hide how painfully skinny she was.
2. Or it could be because the main character was met by such coldness in the cruel world of the 1920s.

But then again, I may be reading too much into it. That one sticking point aside, it was a very good movie.

porn for women

The bubble reads "As long as I have legs to walk on, you'll never have to take out the garbage." This is a fantasy for most coupled, heterosexual women. Porn is usually a fantasy. Thus, this is porn for women. I bought this book of postcards for my friend Tracy's birthday. You can find it here. Even the man found them funny. I tried explaining that these could be considered "how-to" cards. The man laughed. And that is the case and point for why this is porn for women.

mmmm...minty

I'm very tight when it comes to my budget. I carry around a notebook to record expenditures and track all receipts. I'm probably not normal. As if that is a surprise.

For those of you are not as stringent in tracking your spending, I suggest trying Mint. Mint is a free, online software application that helps you monitor your personal finances. You can track your spending in categories and even compare your spending habits to the average of those in various locations around the country. The software is a safe way to manage all of your online bank accounts in one place, making it a handy way for me to update my own offline budget spreadsheets.

I highly recommend this service. Everyone is pinching their pennies these days, why not use this as a way to keep track of your green?

are you trying to tell me something?

I don't often partake in refreshment from the office candy dish. I did today. This is what my candy told me:
Do you think I should see a doctor? Maybe if I keep smiling, no one will know that I'm the carrier of some sort of pathogen. Thanks for the heads up, Dove.

if i had an extra 20 rolling around...

I'd so buy this:

Maybe I'll just put it on a credit card and call it an election present to myself.

I love the concept - not too in your face, but just enough. Maybe I'll wear it to Thanksgiving with the man's very Republican family. Too snarky? I think not.

get out of my brain

I had four days of software applications trainings at work last week. I, perhaps selfishly, dragged my friend Tracy along with me so that I had someone to help me troubleshoot when no IT staff are present. They are never present, at least not physically and not during my work hours. So, here is my official apology - Tracy, I'm sorry for making you endure the torturous training days. I think I'm being punished for my selfishness.

How am I being punished, you ask? My head. My head is full of images of InfoMaker. My brain is brimming with data. I have now determined that I do not have a head cold. I instead have been struck down with the consequences of my actions and am paying penance for causing someone else to sit through a training that she may never really need. My head is nearly about to explode with FERPA violating material and if it does in fact spew out that confidential information, then I'll be fucked. If you notice a girl sitting in a corner muttering about ID numbers and ethnicities, that's probably me.

How do I know I'm being punished? I've been dreaming about the software program, thinking of tables and criteria and sorting in the between stages of asleep and awake. I thought about it a lot during my sick in bed time: ID numbers, entrance codes, joins, all of the crap that accompanies the reporting software we now use and that I need to utilize on a daily basis. You'd think it would be enough that I spend time each day writing and running these reports, why can't I think of something more interesting while drifting off to dreamland? Maybe something like Johnny Depp. But there is no Johnny Depp for me, instead I have to endure an indefinite amount of data. And data doesn't look good in a pirate's costume.

invalid

This weekend has been a blur. I've not been feeling well so I slept through the majority of it. I seem to have some sort of head cold, the kind where it you can't concentrate and it hurts to read or watch television. Not too fun for a weekend. I woke up this afternoon (from a nap) thinking that I had overslept and missed work. It was only 4:00 pm. I can't even blame any kind of meds because I haven't taken any - just my brain being fuzzy as a result of the damned cold virus.

A number of people have been sick at work lately and I blame them for the propagation of my virus. Of course I'll likely go in to work tomorrow because of the amount of work that must be done, but I'll try to lock myself away in my office as not to contaminate others or scare them with my incoherence.

I realize I'm not too interesting right now - I've got some upcoming projects that I'll chronicle in the coming week.

hello winter, i still don't like you

It's cold. It's rainy. It snowed yesterday. It is officially winter. For as much as I appreciate the changing seasons, the winter is the worst thing about living in the Midwest. I've attempted to convince the man agree that we should move somewhere warmer. Unfortunately, I've managed to find a man who loves everything about the snow. Another testament to the fact that no one is perfect.

For all the faults that I found in Las Vegas - I must admit that the weather is quite a draw. Only 6 more months of winter. If it is as shitty as last winter - over 100 inches of snow - I may die.

oops

So much for one post every day. It seems that at the end of one week I managed to miss a day. To make up for my forgetfulness, I'll be posting two today.

I've been watching True Blood on HBO lately. I must say that I find the show very intriguing. I'm not a believer in vampires and I don't read the many "novels" on and about the subject, but I do find the series to be addictive. I suggest you check it out on Sunday nights at 9:00 pm CST.

my president (elect) could beat up your president

Note: this will be my last election post. I just thought I'd leave you with one last photo.

via http://obama08.tumblr.com/

is obama president?

We did it. Now the countdown begins. This morning is the first morning in my adult life that I awoke with a sense of optimism in regard to the direction of our country. I'm ecstatic that we are months away from having someone in office who is more concerned about the common good than lining his pockets. Congratulations, USA, you've done well.

yes we can

Whomever you agree with, vote for that person. But by all means vote. And if you want to see a better tomorrow, vote Obama.

my kid will bite your kid in the face

We had trick-or-treaters this year. Two of them. They are the demon spawn of one of the man's friends. Let's just say that I'm not too keen on their parenting style, or lack thereof. Not that I know how to parent, but I can honestly say that I would not be a awful as these two individuals.

I did not see the trick-or-treaters, not only because I didn't want to be around their parents (who I am assuming were dressed as bad parents, as that is the attire they choose year-round), but rather because Jammer (who is in essence, my kid) doesn't like kids. These two idiots know this, yet they bring their children over (which is about 15 miles out of the way) because they are mooches and know that we have good candy. Okay, I'm sounding like a bitch here, but I'd have rather just given the man's work friend some candy to take home to his kids, which I did last year because I don't blame the children for their misguided upbringings.

Instead of doing a repeat of last year, which caused no harm to anyone, I had to attempt to keep the dog calm in the upstairs den while the trick-or-treaters were present downstairs with those who decided to bring them into the world. Oh, and I should mention that they were in the house less than five minutes before the 2-year-old wandered off and found his way into the upstairs bathroom...and the parents didn't notice because they were too preoccupied with being incompetent. I must mention that the man was the one who noticed the child missing, and he was likely being observant only because he was waiting to catch the other kid stealing. And the dog, she also noticed the erratic footsteps of the unwelcomed guest upstairs. She noticed by hopping up and down and trying to break down the door while whining and barking and causing my brain to explode.

Needless to say, I if I felt I could actually speak to these people in a language they would understand, this is what I would attempt to convey:

"My kid doesn't like your kids. Your older kid is an ADD-riddled thief who steals each time he comes to the house and he has tried to physically frighten my kid. If you bring your kids back to our house, I am not going to try to rummage through my kid's feces to find the other half of your kid's face."

The end. And this is why I shouldn't have children (at least not the kind that walk upright).

jerk

This morning I watched part of the movie The Jerk, which I had never seen before. As a result, I now have added a half dozen pop culture references to my mental archive. For the first time I now realize why the man licks my face and seems to find it quite amusing. And also why he sometimes calls the dog Shithead...or maybe that is simply because in light of her recent bad behavior and putrid breath, she most certainly has a head chock full of feces.

absence makes the heart go fonder: las vegas volume 1

I must say that Las Vegas was an experience. The views (at night, when you couldn't see how filthy everything was) were truly spectacular.

Here is our view:You can see the water show at the Bellagio in this shot. You can also see the Eiffel Tower and a few other Vegas landmarks in this photo. The man deserves complete credit for this photo. He spent quite a bit of time at the window to get this shot while I was asleep. Slow aperture speeds make timing the pic with the water much more difficult and I doubt I would have had the patience. Given that my camera is closer to the point-and-shoot variety than the man is used to, I am happy with the photo.

I can't say that I miss being in Las Vegas. But I do miss being on vacation and actually having some quiet quality time with the man. Having tasted a bit of freedom, so to speak, has made dealing with the roommate and the constant barrage of phone calls much harder to deal with now that we have settled back into normal mode.

If only we had won big in our gambling endeavors...maybe I would've spent my week at home throwing all of the roommate's belongings into the yard and prank calling all the people unlucky enough to have to work for a living. But alas, I am still encumbered by a large workload and an even larger fatbody of a roommate whose lot in life is to occupy the sofa until we can afford to kick his ass out.