early

I couldn't sleep last night. After eventually falling asleep, I found myself wide awake at 3:00 AM. I could hear water dripping out of the eaves onto the balcony floor. It made a ping sound. That mixed with the man talking in his sleep and his occasional snoring, making it impossible to sleep. I needed to wake up at 5:00 anyway, but two hours early is just too much.

I've been at work since 6:00 AM this morning. It is highly likely that I will have to stay late. It is times like this that I wish we had better public transportation in the US. I am without a vehicle today because my windshield washer pump is (hopefully) being fixed/replaced. The man was kind enough to drive me to work today, but since he also needs to be at work at 7:00 AM, I had to come in early. If only they would actually build the light rail, I wouldn't be in such a bind. But, alas, that has been on the docket for a decade and has never been passed.

In other news, it is officially 2 days 9 hours 5 minutes until I am on winter break! Yay! I am hoping you can see the excitement in my usage of exclamation points!! Over my winter break I plan on doing the following things:

• master Guitar Hero with five stars on each song in the hard level (could be an impossible mission, but I am up to the challenge)
• be lazy
• eat a lot of food
• watch the first season of Showtime's Dead Like Me
• not think about work...at all
• do the required family gathering stuff
• read a book that I want to read (that is unrelated to my thesis)
• spend some time hanging out with the man
• catch up with a couple friends

off kilter

I'm a klutz today. So far (and it is only 8:15 AM), I have run into the following things:

• the edge of the bed (with my toe)
• the doorknob on the bedroom closet (with my hand)
• the dog gate (with my hip)
• the corner wall in the hallway at work (with my shoulder, while carrying tea)
• the edge of my desk (with my thigh)

Perhaps I should take a hint and not leave my chair or attempt to drive.

In other news, my windshield wiper motor appears to be completely fucked...and not in a good way. I'll have to make an appointment to get it replaced (to the tune of what I estimate as $200+.) Merry fucking Christmas.

snow day

I was out of the office all day yesterday. They closed down work at 2:00 PM due to inclement weather (which is the reason I could not get to either my cardiology appointment or to work). Luckily, I will not have to take a full day of vacation to compensate for my absence since they closed the buildings.

So, instead of working yesterday, I stayed home and...worked on work unrelated to my real job. Yay. I did get an hour of Guitar Hero III in though, so I didn't work all day. I must say that the XBox 360 is the most glorious gaming console. The graphics are amazing. It almost doesn't make me upset that it has stolen my boyfriend's affections. However, the man has somewhat made up for it and has been an amazingly wonderful boyfriend this week. (Also, the XBox 360 is only visiting for the week and will be going back home sometime this weekend - until we inevitably buy one that will stay at the house forever and always.)

Since our jerk of a snowplow guy hasn't shown up at the house yet, my very sweet boyfriend shoveled the majority of our very long driveway so that I could get to work this morning. He spent an hour shoveling at 9:00 last night since we had waited, hoping that the plowman would show up. It is nice when your significant other can put aside the stupidity and disregard that accompanies the male gender and does something very kind and thoughtful. I must admit that I don't always give him the credit he deserves, but he gets laid a lot, so that makes up for my inability to communicate my gratitude through words.

In other news, I came in to work at 6:30 AM and will be working a couple hours late to try to get caught up on things. This is going to be a long-ass day.

things i did over the weekend

1. slept
2. ate
3. cleaned the house while dodging attacks made by the cat
4. slept some more
5. talked on the phone
6. went to the store
7. wrapped Christmas gifts
8. ate
9. slept
10. watched the Packer game
11. wrote a few Christmas cards
12. ate
13. put up our tiny Christmas tree
14. slept
15. watched the last episode of Dexter: Season 1
16. made dinner
17. ate
18. channel surfed
19. slept
20. woke up to find I'd slept through the majority of the weekend

The good news is that my cold seems to be nearly gone. Also, the more I sleep, the closer to winter break it gets.

i live in a bacon world

I am still sick with a cold, but it is getting better. We've made it through the last snowstorm and now are only expecting another 2-4 inches of snow over the weekend. It is sunny and gorgeous (but cold) outside right now. I am in much better spirits, despite a headache that won't seem to subside.

Part of the reason I'm in a better mood is that I am now 99% done with my holiday shopping. I received the last of my brother's Christmas gifts in the mail yesterday. I bought him bacon salt to go along with his other, more "traditional" gifts. I also bought bacon salt for the man and as I am awful at not letting him open gifts until the actual holiday/birthday, he opened it last night. I must admit, this stuff is surprisingly good. Everything is better with bacon.

birthday boy

My nephew Brady turns one year old today. Happy birthday! Unfortunately for him, it has been ruled by his mother that he cannot open the gifts I sent to him until his party on Sunday. As they live many, many miles away, I will not be there for the party and will have to settle for watching the dvd later. I purposely wrapped the gifts in tissue paper so that he would be better able to open them. I didn't include a card, because, come on, who cares about the card? Also, I gave him toys and a book as it seems to be impossible to know which life track he'll set out on so early. He has red hair, so let's hope he doesn't go the nerdy route.

Happy Birthday little man!

not as pissy as i seem

I realize I have sounded a bit frustrated and unhappy. I'm frustrated, but not unhappy. Things at work are looking up as we are finally full-staffed for the first time in nearly a year. This will eventually lighten my workload (though there is always a learning curve and things may cause more work for me for the next month or so). That said, I'm happy with the way things at work are going. I'm not too worried about my doctor appointments, it is just a matter of figuring out what is wrong and finding a plan of action. I'm not anticipating anything major. If you haven't noticed, I tend to use this as a forum from which to vent. I guess you are all reading at your own risk.

I'm also looking forward to having 11 days of non-work in a row. We have a winter break from work from Dec. 22 - Jan. 2. It will be a much needed break for everyone in the office and hopefully we'll be able to get some more things put in motion this upcoming year.

My seemingly endless cold is giving me quite the pissy attitude until about mid-day, when my symptoms subside a bit. That would likely account for my morning cynicism. I'm medicating myself with vitamin C (even though it may not have proven cold healing powers). But hey, it has to be better than the alternative: bourbon.

cold enough for ya?

It is only 7:30 AM and I have already heard 5 people say "Is it cold enough for ya?" What do they think? Why do they ask? It isn't making small talk or conversation. I have a cold, my windshield washer fluid seems to be frozen, snot pours out of my head when going inside from outside. It's fucking 7 degrees below zero. No, I guess it would only be cold enough for me if my arms and legs were reduced to gangrenous nubs because of frostbite. Is that cold enough for you?

not even officially winter yet

We just received 6 inches of snow (not including the 5 inches from the weekend still on the ground). Getting to work was a real bitch today, as neither my road nor my driveway had been plowed. I ended up getting stuck where our road meets the highway, but luckily I had my shovel and the aid of two good samaritans to get me out. I made it to work okay after that.

We are expecting another 4 inches of snow tomorrow and then another major storm this weekend. Sometimes I really hate living in WI. The snow can be beautiful at times, but it sure can be a pain in the ass.

Thank God for the snow removal crews. It looks like it may be a long winter in the Midwest.

insomniac

I am at work well before my standard "at work" time. I couldn't sleep so came in to work. This may or may not have been a good idea. It is possible that I could leave early = good. However, it is possible that I will actually end up working late = bad. There is another snowstorm coming this afternoon, so an early departure time would be better.

I haven't been sleeping much this past week. The combination of dread surrounding my thesis and worry regarding my impending medical appointments are keeping me awake. I've been productive in many other ways, such as having nearly all my Christmas shopping done. I go to get my event monitor for my heart next Tuesday. I will wear it for one month and it will record any abnormalities or episodes and send them directly to the doctor. After that month is over, I will meet with the cardiologist and hopefully figure out what exactly is wrong with me. I hope I will be able to sleep after that.

I have a case of the blahs.

survival update: thanksgiving 2007

Well, we made it through the holiday. I feel better equipped to write about the event now that it is one week in the past. If I had written about it earlier, I may have been misleadingly negative due to the strain of clearing the chaos of visitors from the house. It is always interesting for me to see how much the man and his mother are alike. I have only met her a few times, since they now live in Oklahoma and don't make it back to WI but a few times per year. I find it particularly amusing when she claims to not know where the man got some of his personality attributes, such as his stubbornness and temper, when I have personally seen her exhibit these same traits.

Overall, the holiday was okay. It was more work that was promised, but it went well. So well, in fact, that the "family" plans on coming to our house every Thanksgiving. I, however, will not tie myself down to that promise. It seems as though the man's family often forgets that I have a family of my own whom I would like to spend holidays with. This annoys me. I have already mentioned that I would likely be going home next year and not to anticipate my assistance in the planning and execution of the event. It would be nice if the man were able to come home with me, but since his folks will be visiting each Thanksgiving, I wouldn't want him to miss out on spending time with them.

As always, there was turmoil amidst the festivities and their visit was bittersweet for the man. I found the whole event to be stressful and it made me miss my family and their traditions even more. Traditions where things are fun, not tedious and the food is prepared the way I like it - with lots of butter and gravy and sarcastic comments about the way you are making things with tons of butter and gravy.

In other news, my body is completely fucking up. My heart is experiencing severe bouts of abnormal heart rate exceeding 120 beats per minute. I go see a cardiologist soon and will probably have to wear an event monitor and have a battery of tests. My mother swears that I wasn't microwaved as a baby and that no drugs were involved in my conception or incubation stages, which I believe because my mother has never smoked so much as a cigarette. I am hoping that they find something easily treatable like a hyperactive thyroid and that it isn't a complication due to my heart murmur. Only time will tell and I'll keep you posted.

As for now, I'm on vacation (though going to the doctor twice in less than 24 hours isn't much of a vacation) and am working on my thesis. So far I've been making steady progress. I'll write more about it later.

mourning

My beta fish Orpheus died this week. It was upsetting, but I'm okay. I loved Orpheus, but we never bonded like I did with my previous fish Homer. Perhaps it is because Orpheus was a gift and I had been mourning the loss of Homer at the time of his arrival. Even so, I had grown very attached to Orpheus in the nearly three years we were together and I am quite saddened by his passing. I don't think I'll be getting another fish for quite some time.

things i hate today

1. The person in the cubicle outside my office playing Josh Groban.
2. Josh Groban.
3. The weird pissing thing the sky is doing that is neither snow nor rain nor sleet.
4. The fog.
5. Not being able to drink decaffeinated coffee because decaffeinated coffee still contains significant amounts of caffeine. Thus, it is not aptly named. It should be lesscaffeinated coffee.
6. Receiving Dexter: Season 1 Disc 2 before receiving Dexter: Season 1 Disc 1 from Netflix.
7. Black Thursday and the commercialism associated with it.
8. Making travel arrangements for people other than myself.
9. Thinking about the lack of money to pay bills and still afford Christmas.
10. Did I mention Josh Groban?

reasons my hair might fall out this week

1. The man's mother and stepfather are coming to stay with us for a few days over the holiday. We don't quite know when they are arriving.
2. The man's mother and stepfather may be bringing their dog, which would cause Jammer to go into convulsions and have a nervous breakdown.
3. We are hosting Thanksgiving for somewhere between 12 and 18 of the man's family and stepfamily.
4. We have to prep the house for hosting Thanksgiving.
5. I don't know the majority of those coming to spend the entire day of Thanksgiving at our house. I wonder if it would be rude to have people wear "Hello! My Name Is _____" tags.
6. Jammer doesn't react well to large numbers of strangers in the house. There is bound to be much barking (some of which will be likely directed at little old ladies, whom there are quite a few of in the man's family).
7. I am taking four days off next week (Tuesday through Friday) and this is a short work week. I am drowning in things to get "wrapped up."
8. The man's boss is giving each employee a turkey for Thanksgiving. We do not have a freezer large enough to accommodate a frozen turkey. We are not responsible for the Thanksgiving turkey preparation. I will never cook a turkey. I hope someone will take it home with them.
9. The doctor told me to completely cut out caffeine due to my elevated heart rate. I consume very, very little caffeine as it is and now I will have to make sure that I am stringent in deleting it from my diet.
10. These same stepfamily people are the same ones who asked the man (in my presence) about our matrimonial possibilities at last Thanksgiving. And now they will be in my house for a whole day.

maladies #8: syringes and balls

My latest physical therapy appointment was definitely more promising than my last doctor visit. However, I have an additional three exercises/stretches and a new treatment. I was given (I actually bought it) a rubber ball the approximate size of a cantaloupe to use in stretching out my IT band (muscle on outside of leg between hip and knee). I lie on the floor with the ball under the outside of my leg and use the ball to stretch the muscle. It hurts like a motherfucker and I was instructed that it should not be used directly on the hip area, as it would likely be too painful. At least this was not a surprise.

The treatment I was given (which I did not have to pay for out-of-pocket) is a band-aid type thing with a batter attached. I inject medicine from a vial onto the pad on the underside of the bandaid, tape it to my hip, pull a tab to start the battery and let it inject medicine into my muscle for a few hours. I have yet to try this, but will keep you posted as to what it actually does. I hope it is helpful, as I have four treatments for each hip.

I find the treatment to be kind of interesting, but it also kind of freaks me out. I wonder what the man's mom and stepdad will think if they open the medicine cabinet to find a bunch of syringes and vials of meds. Perhaps I should label them "heroine" to see what sort of fun ensues.

one small step for man

My brother's kid learned to walk yesterday. I have the feeling that this kid is going to be a holy terror once he figures out the power he has now obtained.

I wish my brother and sister-in-law all the luck in the world. They are pregnant again, and Brady (pictured above) isn't even one year old yet. I hope, for their sakes, that he uses his power for good instead of evil.

let them eat cake

Wow. I had forgotten how easy cake is to make. Cake mix + oil + eggs + water = CAKE. In case you are wondering why I would be making a sweet delight such as cake, it was a coworker's birthday. I made a "Funfetti" cake. It was delicious. I don't even like cake very much, and this cake was good.

I must remember that:
A.) cake is easy to make,
B.) baking a cake makes the whole house smell delicious and nothing like the putrid nastiness the roommate cooks (fish + something else disgusting), and
C.) people like cake and I could win friends and influence people with a steady stream of cake.

the black donnellys

I loved this show. Only six episodes of The Black Donnellys aired on NBC, but the man and I loved it nonetheless. We just finished watching the rest of the season/series (rented from Netflix). I can't believe it was canceled. It seems that I have a knack for liking shows that not enough of the American populous watches.

The series was written by the writer of Million Dollar Baby and the team of writers behind Crash, both of which won Oscars. As for The Black Donnellys, I either loved the characters, or loved to hate the characters - I think that is key to genuinely connecting with a show.

If you are looking to kill a day, rent the DVDs. You can get the whole series in three discs. Keep in mind that the series ended as if it were going to be picked up for a second season so you may be left wanting more. The man was content with the ending, but I believe that too much is left unresolved. All in all, it is still definitely worth watching.

plans

I've set the wheels in motion for a week away from work to concentrate on my thesis. I'll be taking off November 27-30 to focus solely on my thesis. I'll be working and staying away from home, free from all distractions (namely: the pets and the man). I will also be out of the office December 7 and 9. I have appointments those days, but will be taking full days off from work. All I need now is final approval and I'll confirm the arrangements.

I may also be making updates to this site more frequently during those times (there won't be that pesky thing called work to get in my way of posting).

I am hoping that the time away from work will help me to come back feeling less frustrated. At this point, the bitterness I have about my work is creeping into every aspect of my life. I think a few days off will remedy this...at least I hope it will.

architectural cream

This weekend was actually quite good. I was able to spend a significant amount of time reorganizing my filing system. To the average human, this would sound tedious and quite boring. In my twisted world, this is categorized as "fun." Good, productive, time-consuming fun with an obvious result. The office is finally coming together (with the exception of the extra furniture we had been gifted that we are afraid to do anything with). I would like to paint the walls this color (Architectural Cream by Ralph Lauren):

However, I do not see any painting in my future as painting seems to only be done based on how much it "needs" to be done. Thus, I am secretly hoping that the walls begin to peel, which would necessitate the painting of the room. I have the rest of the room nearly to my liking, right now it is just the stark walls that are inhibiting the flow of my perfect thesis environment.