f is for...

I went to a concert on Friday with a friend from work and her boyfriend. I was skeptical about the bands, neither of whom I had ever heard before. I must admit that I was pleasantly surprised by both (opening band: Paul and Storm, headliner: Jonathan Coulton); they were quite funny and the music was good. Here is a link to my favorite song from the night, First of May by Jonathan Coulton.

Really, you must listen to the song. Be forewarned that it is a bit explicit in terms of lyrics, but is a great song for all the springtime twitterpation that pops up around this time of year.

Happy May and here's to extracurricular outside activities!

mmmm...pie

Yay! It's spring...unfortunately that means it is raining...a lot. Water is falling from the sky, work is raining onto my desk and flooding my personal life. As I'm drowning in work, there has been very little time to spend on the thesis. However, I have gotten a few more pages written this week and have some resources from which I hope more genius-type words will be inspired. Enough with the boring update, here is a visual representation of what I have been spending my time on since Monday (not including the time it has taken to create this chart):


More thesis work will be done this weekend and hopefully more time will also be spent sleeping and avoiding the office. Have a great weekend. Have a drink. Get laid. Do both responsibly (because I've got too much going on to worry about your drunk ass getting coated in random, infested naughty juices).

why the man's parents seem to like me better

1. they don't have a daughter of their own
2. they never had to wipe my ass
3. they've never seen me throw a tantrum
4. they didn't know me during my annoying, adolescent angsty years
5. they don't look at me and see a resemblance to his estranged father
6. they buy me presents and are nice to me so that I won't leave the man (This point was raised by the man. Also, according to his mom, all the ex-girlfriends were bitches.)
7. they've never worried that my naughty parts would impregnate someone else's naughty parts (see above comment about bitchy ex-girlfriends)
8. I remind the man to call them on holidays and birthdays
9. they get better presents when I pick them out
10. I nag him so they don't have to

ch-ch-ch-ch-changes

I cut about eight inches off my hair last night. Actually, my hairstylist Amy did it. I wasn't going after the celebrity bob style, I just wanted something different. I like it. I had my hair very similar to this when I graduated with my bachelor's degree in 2003. I had not purposely scheduled my haircut appointment to conflict with the arrival of the man's parents from Oklahoma, but I did think it was a pleasant surprise that I wouldn't have to eat dinner with them last night. Unfortunately, it worked out that the time conflict didn't matter and we all (the man, his parents, and two sets of grandparents) went out for dinner after my appointment.

Needless to say, the man was surprised that my hair had been chopped off. Not because he hadn't seen it short, it had been MUCH shorter when we first started dating, but rather because he had no idea that I was thinking about doing it. I don't feel like I have to ask him before doing these kinds of things, but it is still nice to feel like I'm doing something naughty by surprising him.

Oh yes, the man's mom and stepdad are in town through Sunday. They stayed with us last night, but will be staying at a hotel for the remainder of the trip. The man is upset by this, but I don't think it is a bad idea because this way I will retain full usage of my den/spare bedroom. Yes, I am selfish. Do I care? Not quite.

We will still be spending a lot of time with them, but will not be tied to the house in the evenings. I'm sure we will be getting some free meals out of it, and it is always fun to hear about the man as a kid (I just found out he was a chubby kid until he went to kindergarten, HA!). The weather was a balmy 73 degrees yesterday and the last thing I wanted to do was sit around the house entertaining company. I really like the man's parents, but I'm not a good hostess.

Also, I haven't reported on my thesis progress. I know I bitched about the weather, which did try to engulf my very being while I was back in MN, the evil soul-sucking state. [I wonder why they don't put that on the license plates? It would be so much catchier than "10,000 Lakes."] It was good to be back, but it was also good to come home. The trip was very productive despite the blizzard.

I am feeling so much better about the whole project that I can't even explain it. And, I can honestly say that my thesis doesn't feel as taxing as it had been and that I kind of WANT TO work on it. Not just to finish it, but because I have a renewed interest. Whew...that is a damned good thing because I had been considering an early death to avoid finishing it.

groceries?

I'm writing my grocery list and so far the only two items are:

• birthday card for Dad
• condoms

Obviously, the birthday card is for my dad and the condoms are for the sex I have out of wedlock with my live-in boyfriend (I'm sure my father doesn't approve of either the sex or the living in sin). Hmm...and I guess I also need some Cheerios, which apply to neither of the aforementioned items. Oh, the juxtaposition!

i spoke too soon

I'm in Minnesota. We're buried in snow. Not just a little snow, upwards of a foot with at least five more inches coming in the next couple days. It seems that hell (MN) has officially frozen over.

Thankfully, Kristen is willing to let me stay an extra day if need be so that I don't have to drive in horrid conditions. Either that, or she wants an extra pair of hands to help shovel out...I'm sure it is a mixture of the two. This way we will at least get to spend some non-work time hanging out. It is so nice to be able to see some of my good friends again. Also, it was so comforting to be spending time at the library again. It almost makes me miss this place. I have not run into any of the people whom I didn't want to see and so far the time I have spent with my friends has been great. I just wish we weren't so far away from each other.

I will post more about my thesis progress at a later date.

on the road again

I leave today at 1:00 to go to Minnesota, where I will work on my thesis and hopefully make substantial progress toward finishing the first draft. Also, and very important to note, I will be able to spend some time with friends whom I have only seen intermittently since I left college. I am so excited about seeing my friends that this trip is bearable. Without that sunny spot in the trip, the whole thing would feel like hell.

I haven't tried to hide the fact that I hated living in St. Cloud, Minnesota. I didn't like the closed-mindedness of the city and, with the exception of my friends and a few coworkers, I was unimpressed by the caliber of people who lived there. That sounds snobby, but it isn't intended to be. I think I just outgrew St. Cloud about a year into my stint there, and going overseas for a semester made all of the issues I had with the location bubble up to the surface. Everything felt suffocating and so small in the grand scheme of things and it bothered me that people were happy with that, happy with staying in a holding pattern and not striving for more. That perspective created one goal for my future: leaving Minnesota for "greener pastures." Part of the reason I am dreading going back is because I haven't done as much as I thought I would have by this time. And the one thing holding me back is the one thing I should've finished before I left. Finishing my thesis will be like shedding a skin that has been suffocating me for the nearly two and a half years since I left Minnesota.

As much as I want to finish my thesis, I am scared to death of failing at it. It is a scary proposition and I've been out of the college mindset for what feels like forever. Damned procrastination, I wish I would have finished this before I ever left, but I couldn't bear to stay any longer than I had to. To be honest, I would rather do so many things other than continue writing this paper. So many things. Anything, actually. That is why it has taken me so damned long. That, and I don't feel like I know what the hell I'm doing half the time.

I understand why people pay others to write their theses for them. If only I weren't broke and didn't have a conscience.

love/hate

Hello springtime. I love you, but I hate you. With the onset of spring comes the onset of the incessant sneezing and brain throbbing associated with my springtime allergies. I took the damned medicine today and it is not working. Perhaps it has something to do with the ten hours I spent outside this weekend inhaling the nasty pollen being spewed from who knows where. Perhaps it has something to do with all the swearing I did back when it was wintertime. Maybe I'm being punished for all of my ill will toward Mother(fucker) Nature.

All I know is, it had better stay springtime if I'm going to have to suffer the allergy part of it. That means NO MORE SNOW. I mean it.

flavor

I've come to the conclusion that French vanilla flavoring means that something will taste like vanilla with a hint of cigarette smoke. At least that is what this flavored creamer I just added to my hot chocolate seems to do.

rainy days and mondays always get me down

It is Monday. It is raining. Talk about a depressing combination. Yesterday, on the other hand, was gorgeous. The sun only peeked out a few times, but there was no wind, making it warm enough for me to spend over 5 hours cleaning up the yard and working in my flowerbeds. Also, I cleaned and organized my stall in the garage.

Today I am paying the price for yesterday's ambitions. I feel as though I have been beaten with a crowbar about the arms and legs. I'm not going to complain, though, because this is a good kind of ache, the kind that lets me know that I've worked out all the cobwebs that have collected throughout the past six months of winter. I hope today's storms melt away the last of the snowbanks.

the return

I'm finally going to get some work done on my thesis in a location where I know I will be able to get work done. I'm going to be going to my college library in Minnesota for a multi-purpose trip. As I mentioned, I will be working on my thesis, but I will also be visiting friends from college and possibly crashing on Kristen's couch while I'm there. This will happen in April, when I will actually be able to get away from work for a few days. I'm super-excited about it.

Yes, super-excited...about going back to Minnesota...a state that I hate. I am excited about my friends, not the people whom I have forgotten about since I moved in 2005. I hope that I don't run into those people. I just hate the standard niceties of "how have you been" that seems bound to end with "keep in touch" and an exchange of numbers. There will be no exchange of numbers. If I haven't bothered to contact you since 2005, I probably had a reason.

But, to be honest, there are a handfull of people whom I have failed to contact for other reasons, reasons that have nothing to do with negativity and everything to do with my slacker behavior and not having had many good things to mention for the first two years I was gone. I will be getting in touch with those people. But not the others, the ass-nasty morons that I was happy to leave behind.

Also, I'd like to get finished with my first draft of my thesis. That will be one huge, flea-ridden monkey off my back.

how do you like your eggs?

I like my eggs standing up on end, like this:

And this:

Yes, that is my desk at work. Do not worry, this is a work-sanctioned egg-uprising. I think it is cool. I've been telling passers by that I am doing this WITH THE POWER OF MY MIND. Mwah ha ha. Umm, yeah, that part is bullshit; I use the power of my mind for much more fruitful things, like revenge. But look over there, it is an egg balancing on its end!

sprung

Happy first day of SPRING! It could not come soon enough...unfortunately, Mother Nature is still being a nasty whore and is sending 5-7 inches of snow our way in the next 24 hours. But, today is slated to be nice and sunny. And, a sure sign of spring is this guy, who has been mating in the front yard with all the ladies with big red breasts:


As you probably know, Easter is this Sunday. My initial reaction to the thought of having to do family stuff with the man's family was this: I suggested that we hide my car in the garage and pretend that we are visiting my parents for the weekend. I thought we were in agreement about this, until I was informed that we will be attending a dinner with the man's family Saturday night. This doesn't go along with my plan, but the damage has been done and now I have to go or look like a bitch for not going. As much as I would like to take the bitch route, I know there would be repercussions and I'm not going to ruin the remainder of my weekend by having to listen to a disgruntled, pouty boyfriend. On second thought, there has been trouble brewing amongst some of the members of the family and nothing says Easter like a drunken outburst at dinner, so this could be more interesting than first expected.

glutton

I'm a glutton. A glutton for storage. Most women I know are lacking for storage space. I am not. The amazingly wonderful man who built our house did so in such a way to use every single possible square foot for storage. We have nearly 30 closets in our house. Yes, 30. There are built-ins everywhere. A china built-in in the dining room. A bookcase by the fireplace. Built-in dressers in each of the bedrooms.

When I first moved in it was kind of confusing, doors everywhere, but now that I'm used to that, I have found that I still want more. Perhaps it is because of all of the closets and built-ins that I am jealous of others with fewer storage options. I want a credenza, and a dresser, and a buffet, and all of those wonderful pieces of furniture in which to store stuff, and objects, and items, and everything one might need to throw in a cubby somewhere so as not to alarm parents when they come to visit.

But, alas, I'm plagued with the sensibility of the man who built the house and avoid purchasing unnecessary storage furniture. Even though there is a gorgeous Danish modern dresser at a local antique store that is screaming my name, loudly, with such vigor that it makes me want to write an '80s ballad about it.

single again

Over the weekend something has come between me and the man. It takes up a large percentage of his free time, leaving me with a lot more alone time. It is almost like being single again. That thing is the xBox 360 that came home with the man last Friday.

The arrival of the xBox has pushed for a speedier arrival of another object to take up the man's time...a 42 inch flat-screen television. Because the 40 inch TV in the living room that belongs to the roommate isn't good enough. We need one in our living room upstairs so that we can play games without interruption. Not to mention that I have a perfectly good 32 inch TV in my living room upstairs that has cable hookup allowing me to avoid those playing video games elsewhere in the house. I'm not so sure that this will be a good thing, this marriage of spaces and entertainment.

Hopefully we won't be getting the bigger TV until much later in the spring...or maybe next year. I guess it all depends when Uncle Sam sends out the economic stimulus checks. It is important to note that mine will go toward debt, not a new TV.

fragile

I'm at work, despite not feeling well due to some sort of cold/flu that hasn't quite manifested itself fully yet and the heartburn that kept me awake all but two hours last night. I'm assuming the heartburn is stress-related and despite the fact that I have chewed about 20 Tums in the past 12 hours, it is still rearing its ugly head. In my sleep-deprived haze last night I actually thought that I could burn someone if I opened my mouth too close to them. As a result, I wouldn't face the man, because I like his face and wouldn't want to burn it off with the fire coming up through my throat.

My friend Kristen's grandmother once referred to me as fragile or delicate or something like that. I am not so sure about those terms, they make me laugh when used in reference to me, but I have to admit that I am not made of steel. I think it is the stubbornness that is plaguing me, causing me to get so stressed out that I end up getting sick. Despite all the issues that I have had in terms of my health, I still feel like I am ten feet tall and bulletproof sometimes. The constant pain and the cold that won't go away are forcing me to face the realization that I'm not as strong as I thought. But if you call me a delicate flower I might have to kick you in your naughties or breathe that fire out of my throat in your direction. I'd let you pick.

lagging

I'm exhausted. The bad thing is that I have done nothing fun to make me exhausted. No out of the ordinary sex marathons, no marathons that include running, no marathons that include drinking...only work. And more work. And after that, yeah, there was more fucking work. I've never been so happy for Wednesday to come, even though I know I'll be at work at least 12 hours, at least it is halfway through the week.

While I'll never understand why people want children so badly, I do understand that what I'm experiencing in terms of feeling overworked and underpaid is nothing in comparison to having to take care of the creature you pushed out of your body. At least I can throw some food in a dish on the floor and take a nap (in regard to the animals, of course, the man can get his own damned food so I can take a nap). But...in terms of longevity and capability, a kid would be around long enough to learn how to make me dinner... Nah, I don't have the patience for that. Never mind that I would have to PUSH THE KID OUT OF MY BODY before it could learn anything.

Why am I rambling? Why am I asking myself questions? It's because I'm on the verge of the flu and have been working on too many projects in too short a time frame. If I don't make any sense, then just be glad that I won't be reproducing. I don't think the world is read for the antics and crankiness of a mini-Trish.

new music monday

I'm loving Minuit. They are a band out of New Zealand and have a kick-ass Website. You should check it out if you have a few minutes to spare. It's interactive and you can "talk" to whomever else is on the site. Check it out.

sadness in the frozen tundra

Today Brett Favre announced his retirement. It is a sad day for Packer fans. I am amongst those who are grieving the loss. I can unabashedly say that I love Brett Favre and how happy and angry he made me feel throughout 16 years of autumnal Sundays, and the occasional Monday night. Perhaps I'm crazy, but I am totally going to miss that man. Adieu.

snowslut

Yesterday was gorgeous. It was 40+ degrees outside, sunny, not too windy...glorious. I built a snowperson. A snow-woman, actually. Sidenote: I've noticed lately that the disgusting pigman dickbag roommate is throwing cigarette butts off the porch and into my currently snow-covered garden. As I have said before...he is both a slovenly assnasty and a stupid moron. This annoys me and I don't like him...but I do tolerate him. I felt a bit snarky yesterday and thought a tiny retaliation was in order. This brings us back to my snowchick. I made her overweight, smoking a cigarette, and with droopy boobies. (Wait for it...there is a reason.) I then informed the roommate that I met a woman that I thought he even had a chance of getting with. All that was missing was a case of herpes. And that she was outside waiting for him. The man and I were thoroughly amused, the roommate slightly less so. I wonder why.