say hello to my little friend

This 24-oz. bottle is BPA-free stainless steel. And it is orange. And it is going to remind me to drink more water and less toxins. Toxins that spill into the water via their plastic containers. And, I'm going to be able to stop using and reusing so many plastic bottles.

Want more? It also has an inspirational reminder to be optimistic. You can't really see it in the photo, but it reads "OPTIMISTIC My glass is always half full." Those of you who know me might see the humor in this, as I'm not going to be able to add eternal optimist to my resume any time soon.

Negativity has been pervasive in my work environment lately, and this little bottle is serving as a reminder for me to lighten the fuck up, take a step back, and realize that things can't really be as bad as they seem. If things really are as bad as they seem, then there must be a silver lining, even if that silver lining is buried under a pile of shit.

In other news, I'm reading a very interesting book: Green, Greener, Greenest: A Practical Guide to Making Eco-Smart Choices a Part of Your Life by Lori Bongiorno. I found it while browsing the local library and it is exactly what I've been looking for, the perfect complement to springtime, and my hope is that it will help me to become even more environmentally conscious (something that is in my goals list for 2009).

This book offers three levels of "greening" up your life. If you want to put in minimal effort and expense, go with the green option. If you have time to step it up a bit and throw more time and money in, go with the greener option, and so on and so forth. It's worth a glance if you are wanting a quick read that can help save some green (in terms of money and the environment).

losing inches

Hello again. I'm back from vacation in Chicago with my family (pictures have yet to be uploaded, but they are coming). My nephews are wonderful, but not enough to make me want to spew a kid out of my nethers anytime in the future. Anyway, back to the point, the vacation was fabulous and I have a bit of a crush on Chicago. I must admit that the vacation reinvigorated me to step up my workouts even more. It may have been the 19th floor fitness room at the hotel with the awesome city views.

So, despite all the e-mails I receive daily about wanting to add inches to a member, beast, or otherwise named male extension, I've been losing inches. I've cut two inches off my waist since I started this whole thing and an inch from thighs. Apparently my ass hasn't gotten the memo yet because there hasn't been any visible progress there, but I'm sure it'll happen eventually. I am happy because I'm operating under the assumption that the decrease in inches means that I'm firming and toning, making the stuff that was already there tighter and now more streamlined. Either that or my tape measure reading skills are lacking. My physical therapist is happy with my progress, but is also trying to pull on the reigns to keep me from going overboard. My core strength is improving, but my wonky pelvis is still unstable. At least it isn't my mental state.

I'll keep you posted and will throw some pictures from the trip up here this weekend.

what am i made of?

My Personality

Neuroticism	12
Extraversion	58
Openness to Experience	38
Agreeableness	32
Conscientiousness	71

You are a calm person who is considered almost fearless by some, however you do not feel nervous in social situations, and have a good impression of what others think of you. You get overwhelmed by too much noise and commotion and do not like thrill-seeking activities. You prefer facts over fantasy and are more interested in what is happening in the real word. You do not enjoy confrontation, but you will stand up for yourself or push your point if you feel it is important, however you feel superior to those around you and sometimes tend to be seen as arrogant by other people. You take your time when making decisions and will deliberate on all the possible consequences and alternatives.

Free Poll

10 years (pending)

My ten-year high school class reunion is fast approaching. It will take place this summer in my hometown. I come from a very small community and my graduating class consisted of 96 students, many of which were in my various "circles" of friends. I was a floater, a mingler, per se. I had friends in every cliche, had no specific tie to any particular group, and was a bit transient in general. As a result, perhaps, I have one close friend with whom I still communicate regularly. I cut loose all of the extraneous people from my life when I went away to college. Not because I didn't like them, but maybe because I hadn't forged real, sustainable connections with them.

It is these people whom I will be seeing this summer. I've run into old friends from time to time, but have never left those encounters with any promised contact. I hope to leave this reunion similarly unscathed, but possessing enough updated knowledge of my old friends to tide me over until the next reunion rolls around.

Why am I bringing this up? It has been on my mind lately. Am I who I wanted to be at the age of 27? Who did I want to be when I "grew up"? Did I meet those benchmarks? I don't know that I ever had set up a timeline of my life. Perhaps if I had, I would be disappointed now. I'd like to think that I'm on track and that I am right where I should be. That's how I feel, though I wouldn't mind tweaking a few aspects of my life. I prefer the "take it as it comes" guide to life - I strive for what I want, but what I want changes.

I guess I'm just looking at my life through a telescope. Trying to see the big picture. Trying to give the two-minute elevator conversation that explains who I am, how I got here, and who I want to become. I'd like to get a firm handle on that two minute "where am I now" so that I can leave people with a clear view of the real Trish. Except that in my mind, I can't really wrap my head around a reason to pinpoint my life like that.

I think I'm like one of those grab bags I used to love as a kid. You get a bag filled with surprises, some of them good, some of them you pass along to others. All in all, the grab bag of my life has been filled with a lot of great experiences who have made me into today's Trish. Tomorrow's Trish may be completely different. Who knows who I will have become by the time this summer's reunion comes around. Maybe I shouldn't write that elevator conversation down in pen, but rather just keep it in pencil. I guess I'm still that transient being I was in high school.

i scream, you scream, we all scream for fish oil

I'm taking a new supplement. To supplement what? I'm not sure. I suppose my diet is lacking in things other than fat and cholesterol, which are not necessarily good things to have in abundance. This is why I've added fish oil to my list of daily pills to go down the hatch. They reek. I hate fish and haven't eaten seafood in over 25 years, but apparently their oil is beneficial for my heart and thus I'm taking one for the team (Team Trish, that is). Luckily I have not suffered any type of repercussion from downing the nasty fish oil pills. No gills. No horrid stench reaching up out of my belly to assault passers by. No desire to swim upstream to find a mate.

In other news, I've come to the realization that working out is the devil. It is the devil because when I work out, I want to do it all the time. Why would I want to work out so much, you ask? Doesn't working out pretty much suck because, as it is named, it is WORK? I'll tell you. I want to work out all the time because mine is a personality in need of immediate gratification and because the results...they do not happen fast enough. And logic dictates that to get something to happen quicker, you should do it more often. But this logic is wrong in this case. I am not supposed to work out every day, according to my health magazines and my physical therapist. At least not the way that I want to. There is a delicate balance of "do this, not that," which is going on in my weekly workout rotation. And I hate it. Back to my statement that working out is the devil. I have decided this because that is what the devil does, isn't it? Tempts you to do things you are not supposed to?

I guess that when I start something new, I'd prefer to be balls deep in it rather than just tiptoeing around. This is not the way to do things if I want to be healthy, says my physical therapist. This means that the fabulous workout I've come to love (I posted a video)...the one that makes my ass feel like it is on fire and that the fire is quickly spreading down my legs...I am not supposed to do that workout on consecutive days.

To make myself feel like I'm doing more for my body, despite being deprived of the "okay" to exercise how and when I would like, I've been taking more vitamins and supplements. I'll keep you apprised of any other changes.

add another artist to the bunch

I've been listening to a lot of Imogen Heap's music lately. You may recognize her voice as she was in the band Frou Frou, which gained a bit of notoriety from one of my favorite movies, Garden State. She is a solo artist, and I really enjoy her sound:



I also have a few of her songs on my playlist if you'd care to take another listen.

yes drill sergeant

There was a time when progress was measured by how much weight I lost - now, progress is measured by whether or not I need to brace myself to lower down onto the toilet and how much my abdominal muscles throb when I do so. Say hello to my latest workout.



This workout may not look like it, but it is super-intense. My abs are by no means washboard, but I've lost a 1/2 inch off my waist in the past couple weeks thanks to this workout + cardio + additional exercises from my physical therapist. That my muscles hurt as much as they do is probably a sign of progress, but it is also a sign that I still have a long way to go.

Every painful step I take is one step closer to saying goodbye to that stupid pelvic belt so I'm going to keep plugging away at the agonizing torture, brought to me courtesy of "the great one-month slimdown with Jillian Michaels" and Self magazine. Oh, how I am growing to hate you and love you all at the same time.

i heart progress

What have I been doing? Not posting, obviously. AND I actually have a fabulous reason. Progress, people, I've been making progress.

1. I've (finally) painted the office. I chose this color: I am very happy with how the office turned out.
   
   
   I am still trying to get things arranged the way I want, but it is already a space much more conducive to working. The man has agreed that this color would be a good for the walls in the kitchen. Now we just have to wait for the roommate to move out so that we can get started. Added bonus: there is enough leftover paint that we wouldn't have to buy more to finish the kitchen.


2. I've created and committed to an exercise/workout schedule. I've also purchased a physical therapist approved recumbent bike to aid in my therapy. Since starting in January, I've even upped my free weights from 3 lbs. to 5 lbs. In terms of tangible progress, I have lost two pounds since I began working out on January 18 and my clothes are beginning to fit better again. . I'm happy with this progress, since I'm not working out to lose weight, but rather to build muscle and strengthen my core (as a part of my physical therapy). In other words, I'm doing all of the working out, which I hate, because I hate this even more.


3. I've taken on a side project to earn extra income. Also, an opportunity has arisen within my current employment that may allow me to increase my income (fingers crossed). . I have finished the first leg of the side project and I just have to do a few more hours to have the full project completed. The nice thing about taking on this project, in addition to a few extra dollars coming in, is that it has also helped me to schedule weekly library time. I think this will be a good habit, as it will only aid me in completing both this side project and my thesis.


4. Back to the home progress. The man and I have created a much cozier space completely separate from the roommate's area. We've been able to confine the cats to this area and no longer have to worry about the roommate meddling in our conversations or in our space..
   I helped a friend remove wallpaper from her very large bathroom. Wallpaper that was adhered directly to the drywall by the previous owners. Previous owners who were idiots..


5. I've completed and filed my taxes and am happy to report that I got a larger refund than last year. Two-thirds of the money has already gone into paying off my credit card debt, while the other third has been put into my emergency savings (already withdrew a portion of it to get a new tire).
   It has been wonderful to see my credit card debt decrease over the past months. Now that I have rolled all of my credit card debt onto one low-interest card, the progress is much more visible each month. I'm happy to report that I'm right on schedule with this financial goal.


6. I've already cut back on the nagging and interrupting in my relationships. This was a lot harder than I thought it would be.


7. I've been more conscious of the attitude I have at work. Some things have made me consciously pissed off at work, but at least I knew I was being a grumple as a result of those issues and not just because I'm a pessimistic negative Nancy.


8. I've sorted through my belongings and have given quite a few things to friends, family, and charity, while tossing other things that are of no use to anyone anymore.


9. I've realized that lists do not have to come in multiples of 10.


10. I've developed a better system for managing mail and bills.


11. I've finished another major household project. The man and I built a wooden surround for the cat litter box. It will allow the cats to have more privacy while keeping the dog from trying to eat cat shit. Double bonus.

And that, my friends, is what I've been doing for the main part of January and February. I'm tired, but I'm committed to keeping up with these goals so that I can check a shitload of things of my 2009 project list. I'll keep you posted, perhaps I should add that as one of my goals.

i wish we could've played radiohead in high school

I love how the marching band integrates with Radiohead during their Grammy performance. In case you missed it:

today is the day

Article 2 (for BHO) from Andrew Sloat on Vimeo.

simplify, simplify, simplify

Things are still very sad around our house after the unexpected passing of the man's grandma. I must admit that losing her so suddenly has led me to further evaluate my life, as is often the case after experiencing a loss. If I would give my goals for 2009 a one-word mantra, it would definitely be 'simplify.' By simplify, I mean to pare down and eliminate the things I don't really need, know when enough is enough, be happy now rather than waiting for happiness to come and bite me on the ass, make changes now so that I can enjoy my life without all of the unnecessary trappings.

I've broken down my goals (note that they are not resolutions, but rather are manageable and achievable goals) into four main categories. I've already been working toward many of these goals and they require maintenance rather than initiation in most instances. They might seem like a lot, but that is only because they are so compartmentalized that the sheer volume seems unwieldy. In all actuality, this is a shrunken version of my overall list and doesn't include any of the ideas/tactics within the bullet points.

You may wonder why the hell I've shared all of these with you when you don't really give a damn. Well, it's because I'm selfish and I need a kick in the rear to jumpstart myself from time to time. I've put them up here to add more accountability. I can't hide from the list if it has been thrown into the world.

Here goes:

Financial Goals:
· Only keep a balance on one credit card (already accomplished, just need to maintain)
· Lower credit card balance to at least $x by January 1, 2010
· Pay off Student Loan 1 by January 1, 2010
· Contribute monthly to savings account to cover non-monthly budgetary expenses (auto maintenance, pet food, renter's insurance)
· Cut expenses (already do these things, but should do them even more religiously)
· Raise income

Professional Goals:
· Continue taking advantage of all applicable training sessions
· Build and maintain professional network
· Apply myself to outperform in current role - be indispensable
· Complete thesis

Relationship Goals:
· Do not interrupt, over-share, or compare experiences - this disrespects the person speaking
· Be supportive, but also share caution when necessary - do not play devil's advocate unless vital
· Spend more time w/, or communicate more w/ family and friends
· Reach out to others more - volunteer

Personal Goals:
· Keep a tidy house
· Make time for fun, don't schedule life to the minute
· Make physical and mental health a priority
· Minimize stress
· Celebrate success
· Don't be overly critical or take myself too seriously
· Live in the present - don't fret about those things outside of my control
· Train myself to sustain myself

where I've been

I'm sorry for not posting since the holidays. There was an unexpected death in the man's immediate family that caught us all completely off guard. Things are settling down a bit now and the man is dealing much better than last week. I'll post more and will share my New Year's resolutions with you sometime this week.

I hope you all had a happy holiday.

holiday spirit: post 9 - a bit grinchy

There have been a number of things creeping in, trying to steal my Christmas spirit lately. I must admit to feeling a bit grinchy, wrapped in a layer of bah humbug.

As many of you are experiencing, wherever you happen to be in the U.S., the weather outside is frightful to say the least. And, (now bordering on excess) baby, it's cold outside. The combination of the massive snowfalls plus the subzero temperatures has made me rethink my travel plans. This means I may experience my first ever Christmas away from my family. This is devastating to me, as Christmas is the one time of the year when all of my cousins, aunts, uncles, everyone congregates at my grandpa's two-bedroom house to celebrate the holiday. This amounts to over 50 family members, all of whom I'm dying to see. Unfortunately, I don't want to literally die in order to see them, so I may have to avoid travel until after the holiday.

Now for the boring weather statistics. I'm not meaning to start a pissing contest, but here are our stats from Southern Wisconsin, where we're knocking on the door to beat the December snowfall record. Not a record worth breaking, if you ask me. Anyway, we received over a foot of snow last Friday, 4-7 inches are falling today, and an additional 3-6 inches are expected for tomorrow (Christmas Eve). The day after Christmas is promising freezing rain, snow, and sleet. Yay. Pardon my math, but that amounts to a fuckload of snow.

The man loves the snow and has little sympathy for my situation, as his family lives across town and there is no danger of him missing his Christmas. The whole 45 minutes of it that he attends. I think he just wants me to stay in town, to be honest. Nevertheless, his attitude is making me less than jolly and I believe I even went so far as to tell him to stop pissing on my Christmas. Not sure what holiday spirit crept out of me with that comment, but I wish it would've taken the stick out of my ass when it made its debut. To say I'm uptight and stressed is an understatement.

Yet, the story of the Grinch Who Stole Christmas has a happy ending, with the Grinch being warmed by the spirit of the season, taking him from asshole to do-gooder in one fell swoop. I'm hoping that life imitates art and that this grinchy feeling washes away and everything works out in the end. That would be a Christmas miracle of mythic proportions. Kind of like that year in the 90s when my pretentious and disliked cousins came down with the flu and couldn't come to our other family celebration.

And now, your reward for listening to my quite silly woes, how about another holiday music selection, brought to us by the late, great Dr. Seuss:



Sidenote: You may not know this, but this song was sung by Thurl Ravenscroft, the voice of Tony the Tiger (from Kellogg's Frosted Flakes fame).

the man who couldn't cry

Artist Scotty Reifsnyder illustrated a book and created a short animation based on Johnny Cash's song "The Man Who Couldn't Cry." I love how he captured the lyrics, tone, and overall feel via artwork.

Click on the photo for a link to the artist's website and for an animated film of the book.

via Design Milk

holiday spirit: post 8

This is by far, in my humble opinion, the best Christmas song ever recorded. And now, for your listening and viewing pleasure, "Holly Jolly Christmas" by Burl Ives.

holiday spirit: post 7 - we've been outnumbered

I've got some happy news. The man surprised me with an early Christmas present on Friday: a new kitten whom we've named Rue. She is a rescue kitty who was found in a tree and we figure she is about 10 weeks old. I'm glad that she was found when she was, since temperatures have been below zero lately.



We will be taking her to the vet in the next week to get her checked out, but she is a happy and feisty little thing.

The dog is in love with the kitten. I think her mothering instincts are kicking in. The funny thing is, the kitten is pretty indifferent toward her, which is a manifestation of karma, if you ask me. The dog was quite the bitch to Jack from the time he was a kitten, despite his best efforts to bond with her. Now, Jammer (the dog) is having to deal with the same sort of apathy from Rue. Interesting to see karma at work in the dog world.

Jack, our 15+ pound beast of a cat is quite a pansy. He initially was petrified of the kitten. This makes sense as we found him when he was barely a month old and he had likely not seen very many other cats before. He has been interested in Rue from the beginning, a sort of cautious fascination that often led him to run away like a wee baby whenever the kitten made a sudden movement. As of now, after having been given the opportunity to let it all sink in, he has begun to play with Rue and they are becoming fast friends, much to the chagrin of the dog.

And yes, the bipeds are now outnumbered in our little happy family. In the event of a inter-species wrestling match, we're down one person if we need to tag out so one of us will have to pull an extra shift. My vote is on the man.

coraline

I am very much looking forward to this movie:



For anyone who liked Nightmare Before Christmas, I think this will be in the same vein.

holiday spirit: post 6 - in memorium

Today marks the anniversary of John Lennon's death. As an avid Beatles fan in my teenage years, I drank in all of the Beatles and John Lennon music that I could. I find that this date still pops up in my head each December and I feel a sense of loss, despite not having been born when the event took place.

On this date each year I feel sorry for the many fans who were alive to experience the loss on that day and I feel sorry for those of us who came later and were never able to experience the thrill of a new album release or see a live interview with such an influential and talented individual.

And so, to mark this day, I'm posting one of my favorite holiday songs, sung by John Lennon and Yoko Ono. I like to think that by electing Barack Obama, we are this much closer to at least one war being over.

holiday spirit (kind of): post 5

Today has been an absolutely awful day. I have very little hope that my job will ever be satisfying, gratifying, or bearable. I'm lucky to have a job, so that is all I will say about it. Anyway, I'm in a kind of a funk as a result of a few work issues today and I was near tears as I sat at my desk and read yet another e-mail that made me want to rip my eyes out of their sockets, just so that I would be rendered blind and unable to read the bullshit.

It was at that very moment that my all-time favorite Christmas song came on. My old buddy Burl Ives came on and serenaded me with his Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer television special rendition of "A Holly Jolly Christmas" and as much as I would like to say that my faith in humanity and the upper management was renewed, it wasn't. I am, however, more willing to deal with it now. It is funny how a song can lift your spirits, even just a little.

Thanks go to you, Burl, you've kept the desk rage at bay.

holiday spirit: post 4

I've made a firm commitment to only using real money this holiday season: no credit cards. As I've said many times before, I am on a strict debt pay-down schedule and timeline. I may be spending less this year, but it is all money that I have and thus I won't be spending more in the long run. Also, the man and I are not exchanging gifts so that we can use that money on gifts for others.

I've also made a commitment to buying products from independent and local producers/sellers. I've had to step outside of this commitment for my nephews because I couldn't find a local independent seller of WALL-E DVDs. Other than making a conscious decision to buy local, I'm also making gifts again this year as much as I can. I've plugged this before, but buying homemade via sites like Etsy can yield high-quality goods and can help independent artisans/crafters and their families.

I know that this holiday season is going to be a tight one for many people and their families. I'm lucky that I don't have to worry about how I'll pay my bills and that I have the luxury of being able to make payments toward my debt.

Thinking about the holiday in terms of money doesn't usually make it into the "holiday spirit" category, but I think an economic downturn has the potential to bring Christmas back to its true meaning without the emphasis on gifting. It is amazing how much creativity can stem from times of misfortune and how clearly we can be compassionate to the plights of others more when we are ourselves experiencing hardship.