midwest

For all of my friends who have moved onward and outward from the Midwest, you are much smarter than I. I am pretty sure that half of my ass is still frozen to the leather seat in my car, thanks to the subzero wind chill of nearly -30 degrees. I really ought to get a seat cover.

For those of you who still suffer at the hands of Jack Frost (a man who, in my opinion, should be strung up by his balls, drenched with boiling water and left in the wintry hell he has created), you know my pain.

I doubt that I'll be moving anytime soon, but I am mulling over the possibility of branching out even farther from the nest. If I could afford a plane ticket home in the case of an emergency, I would feel more comfortable leaving the Midwest for places without 8 months of winter. I'm not sure that the man will ever leave WI again, but it may be time to plant the seed in his mind. A seed that will probably not break ground any time in this decade.

Don't get me wrong. There are many things I love about Wisconsin. (Minnesota, though, is a different story and I wouldn't move back there even if someone threatened to cut off all of my fingers with a grapefruit spoon.)

• I love the spring, summer, and fall.
• Trees.
• It is beautiful here.
• I live within 15 minutes of the capitol, but still live in the "country."
• I am close, but not too close, to family.
• There are many things to do, if I were to choose to do them.
• Cheese. Need I say more?

I hate the winter with a passion though. A passion strong enough to uproot me if we have to go through multiple winters like this one. I may be one of the very few people hoping for global warming (or at least its effect on winter in WI).