Dear Winter,
You are a motherfucking bastard. I write you a little bit of hatemail and you respond by slapping me in the face with your testicles to the tune of over 14 inches of snow, just to show me that you are all-powerful and to humble me while I pick pubes off my cheek. You are an evil, evil season. I was trying to be nice in my last letter, admitting to the grandeur and beauty of your snow...that is over. All that got me was a snowstorm larger than the area has seen since 1990. That is nearly twenty years. You sure are one hateful dickbag.
Insincerely,
Trish T.
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