6.10.2009

counting my pennies, and my hatred

Well, well, well...I've been posting about a lot of products and objects and goals and such lately, and have given the bitching a bit of a rest for a while. The bitching is back, my friends, and it is back with a vengeance. At least for today.

I really don't like the roommate...at all. I think he is a worthless, over-sized carcass who takes up space and has been set on this earth to annoy the fuck out of me and my man. I have recently noticed that I don't even look at the roommate anymore. The sight of him annoys me and if I were to make eye contact, a conversation might ensue and I surely don't have the intestinal fortitude to deal with all the bullshit he would try to feed me. Also, it is difficult to make eye contact with someone whose gaze so rarely shifts from either his feed bag or the television.

Anyway, I don't like him and now he has a girlfriend. They've seemingly bonded over their shared abilities to not speak to one another and to be slovenly, couch-lounging, thick-bodied sloths. Okay, she's not terribly over-wide, but when you never get off the fucking couch it is difficult for me to distinguish between cushion and your ass. I've heard them speak to one another only a couple times, always about food, funny enough. Yes, they've been dating for just over a month and she is at the house ever single night without fail. And they only leave to feed themselves then it is back to the couch to watch yet another Deadliest Catch marathon or another Food network program. I have the sneaking suspicion that the girlfriend is annoyed by the dickbag roommate's proclivity to laziness and that she doesn't care to be a fatbody who lays around staring at the tv screen. She has recently taken to sitting next to him on these marathons but instead does crossword puzzles and doesn't stare blindly into Emeril's huge face like the roommate chooses to do.

Why do we still keep him around? Because we are still only thisclose to not needing his rent check. The man's answer to everything roommate related is, "tell him to move out if he doesn't like it." I hope that this means his finances are getting very close to the point that we would be able to live alone. Thus, I'm hoping and praying that the man will soon be the one telling Mr. Lazyballs to move the fuck out and to take his girlfriend and massive load of ugly-ass belongings with him. Personally, my goal is to be able to kick in his portion of the rent by the end of the year, and that we'll be okay to kick his ass to the curb shortly thereafter (this is all independent of what the man can pitch in). Until that time, I'll bide my time and continue to avoid looking in the roommate's general direction as not to be drawn into the vortex of yuck. The vortex has gotten even stronger now that his female counterpart has joined in the sucking worthlessness.