charitable summer

Today I awoke to the man angrily sifting through our closets. Apparently, he has "misplaced" his social security card, which he needs to submit to his new employers. This requirement angers the man because as a US citizen, why should he have to submit to having his social security card copied and kept on file? Shouldn't his selective service card work in it's place? What different does one scrap of paper make to the system?

I don't really see that this would be any kind of inconvenience on a normal day, a day when the man wasn't throwing a fit because he "can't find anything in this damn house." To be honest, the man's filing system consists of Rubbermaid totes and an old Five Star binder. This leaves something to be desired. What is desired is knowing where the hell his social security card is so I don't have to wake up at the butt crack of dawn to a feisty man frantically searching for his social security card like a squirrel strung out on crack looking for the last acorn he planted before winter.

This search is prompting the man to do some reorganizing. I LOVE reorganizing. I like putting things into boxes, armed with my label maker and a tote full of file folders. The man is also going through all of his clothes and will be tossing or donating the things he does not wear (which consists of 85% of his wardrobe). I, too, will be getting rid of my unloved clothing. I can still wear the same clothes I wore in the eighth grade so I have held on to a number of pieces that I wouldn't dream of putting on my body for the simple reason that "they still fit and you never know when you might need a glow-in-the-dark alien t-shirt that reads Take me to Your Band Leader (which I received as a gift from an aunt when I was twelve)."

So, as you may have guessed, I will be spending the weekend going through boxes. I've never completely moved into the house because the roommate and the man already filled the house with their belongings prior to my arrival. I have a number of totes filled with random junk still sitting in my old bedroom at my parents' house. I've already purged a number of crates, but there are still many left to be sifted through. My goal for the weekend is to create a more functional space in the office where I can actually work. The hope is that we will also be donating some of the furniture we have been "gifted" from Nick's well-meaning grandparents. I may be including a pictorial for your viewing pleasure.



I visited my parents two weekends ago and found a cd holder containing all the cds I used to listen to the "first time the man and I dated," which was in winter/spring/summer 2002. I was working for my parents' business and listened to cds from the moment I woke up until I went to sleep. I listened to the same cds in the car and on the four-hour commutes to visit the man. Let's just say that I annoyed anyone who happened to be in my presence because they were required to listen to my rotation of music. I had to burn an additional copy of each disc so that I could have one in the car and one for at home/work. Back to the found cds - they were the copies that I had buried in a drawer at the end of the summer when the man and I parted ways.

I must admit that I was the one who decided to, in a complete act of cowardice, end things by cutting off all contact. This wasn't too difficult because we lived in different states and I was starting my senior year of college. I had been in 20-year-old "love" with the man, but the timing was wrong and I was in many ways too immature to behave in a healthier way. I decided that a clean break was needed before some event occurred to take the decision out of my hands. Long story shorter, the "breakup" was very hard on me and I haven't listened to any of that music since then. Until now. Even though we've been dating again for somewhere between 2.5 and 3 years, I am only now able to stomach listening to the music that reminded me of the bad place I had been in at the end of that summer - and the subsequent mistake of the next relationship into which I leapt.

Back to the present. Now, in my new car, I have all six cds on rotation and listen to them daily without regret. I can now see that the man and I would never be in such a good place now if we hadn't split up then. I did a lot of growing up in the two years (nearly to the day) that we weren't in each other's lives and I can see that ending things was the most responsible decision I could've made. Perhaps by not acting like a civilized adult and discussing things with him then, I left an opening for us to begin speaking years later.

I'm happy to say hello again to the cd collection that I kept buried for nearly five years. This is my "new" summer 2007 playlist (previously titled "Summer '02"):

Atticus: Dragging the Lake (various artists)
Blink-182: Cheshire Cat
Blink-182: Buddha
Blink-182: Dude Ranch
Blink-182: Enema of State
Blink-182: Take off your Pants and Jacket


new office

I have a new office at work - an office with a large window TO THE OUTSIDE! Yes, that statement does require all caps. My previous, quite spacious office had two gigantic windows with a view to the inside - a view to a community area surrounded by other offices. Oh, but I could see outside windows from my huge office, just past the cubicles ten yards away, if I stood just right and contorted myself into a crookedy position. I didn't do this quite often because I was caught once by a passerby who probably thought I was either having a seizure or practicing office calisthenics. There were blinds on those two windows (that I suppose were installed to maintain the illusion of privacy), but if you have windows to the inside people expect that you allow them to view unobstructed into your work area. But now, in my smaller office with a view of the parking lot and landscaping, I can shut out the stares of the nosy nellies.

You perverts out there (you know who you are), you are probably thinking that I can look up porn on company time now that I don't have to worry about people snooping all up in my biz-nass. But, no, you degenerate freak...just because you like to peruse sites that tout big busty babes doesn't mean that the rest of us suck up company time that way. Also, I work for a religious institution where it is quite possible that I would be eternally damned if I were to misuse work hours in such a way and I don't think a few cheap thrills is worth an eternal dance with Beelzebub.

Anyway, today is my first day in my new office and thus far I have been extra productive. I actually think it is because my door is closed and people can't tell if I'm here. I've been so productive without the drop-in time sucks, in fact, that I am able to take a coffee break to e-mail in this post. What a thrill to actually be able to take a well-deserved break and to spend it toeing the line of prohibited computer usage by updating my blog. Oh, I'm a power hungry danger glutton now that I'm in my new digs. Mwah ha ha.

Note: for those of you who do not know this, I do not have Internet access at my home due to the unfortunate "dial up only" availability in my area. Thank you coffee shops and your wireless service. I am a usual patron of th Muddy Moose coffee shop and their Internet connectivity.



As of today, Monday, July 16, 2007, the following things have not happened:
  • the sky has not fallen
  • the roommate has not moved out, nor is he planning to
  • my office has not become fully-staffed
  • the mystery plant I transplanted has not shown its identity
  • I have not completed my thesis
  • Cat Named Jack has not grown out of the "kitten stage"
  • Cat Named Jack and Jammer have not become friends
  • Orpheus (my beta fish) has not died
  • the man and I have not taken a real vacation, or even a fake one
  • I have not convinced my friend Kristen to move back to WI
  • I have not won the lottery
  • I have not gotten rid of the furniture that we have been "gifted"
  • birds have not stopped shitting on my car on a daily basis
  • I have not been back to MN
  • I have not been promoted
  • much to the dismay of my family, I am neither engaged nor married
  • I have not been struck by even the smallest desire to produce offspring
  • I have not partied like it was '99 since it was '99


err on the side of calling your roommate an asshole?

The house is now a place of discord and overwhelming tension. Apparently, the man has finally had enough of the lazy fatbody lying on the couch day after day after day. For months we've viewed the fatbody roommate not as an equal in terms of household actions, but rather as our mentally handicapped, 6'5", 300 lb. child. We would clean up after him, walk around turning off lights and appliances behind him, and deal with his annoying ramblings about how he "could have been a member of the "genius club" had his IQ been 10 points higher." Oh yes, he has said that. I'm not sure how an online Tickle IQ test could get you into a genius club, or if said genius club even exists, but I can tell you that hearing those words come out of the mouth of a guy who may or may not have even graduated from high school is quite a trip.

Anyway, back to the matter at hand. The man blew up at the lazy fatbody roommate Monday night. The verbal beating began just in time to keep me from watching Big Love, which was quite irritating. I'm not condoning the man's behavior because I don't believe much productivity can come about from a verbal assault on a man with ten times less mental capacity for rational thought. The man didn't mince words in telling fatbody that he should move out. As of yet, two days later, no sign of moving has been exhibited and the man has been completely ignoring fatbody's existence.

As you can probably glean from my post regarding my new vehicle, I have a car payment in addition to my other bills. Now is not the time for us to be going halfsies on all bills, or rather, now is not the time for me to be upping my allotted bill-paying budget. Yes, we will probably be saving a lot of money for natural gas and electricity, but will it be enough that I can still afford HBO, or satellite tv at all? Now that I've become spoiled with my extended cable package, I don't know if I can go back to network channels only.

Only time will tell if the roommate actually takes the not-so-subtle hint and decides to move out. Until then I will wish that I had grown up in a less civilized family that was full of tension and yelling...perhaps if I had not been spoiled with a happy upbringing I would have the basic skill set to handle the yelling and tension and not behave like a frightened child hiding in a closet waiting for her parents to quit fighting. No, I didn't hide in a closet, but I did call my friend Pam to keep her apprised of the situation in case the roommate got his fat ass off the couch and decided to kill us in our sleep.


brush that mayo off your shoulder

I went to Summerfest in Milwaukee this past Saturday to see a few bands with my best friend from high school (Pam) and two of her siblings. We saw Live, Papa Roach, and Guster. Papa Roach was great, Guster was not. I'm not saying that I don't like Guster, but I am saying that if you are going to see a live show outside in the summer, you probably don't want to listen to music that makes you want to do any of the following (all of which listening to a few songs by Guster made me want to do):
  • huddle in the fetal position while sobbing and rocking back and forth because of the pain...oh the pain of being a little emo person alone in the big, bad world
  • become a cutter (though all I had was a cheap, plastic beer cup and my car keys, neither of which is a good cutting instrument) because of all the sadness of past relationships gone sour and the knowledge that despite anything we do, we all die alone...alone without a friend, and all we will have is depressing music reminding us that we all suck
  • wail because I can't even become a cutter...because of the lack of sharp objects in this big, bad cruel world

After leaving Pam's brother at Guster, we went to Live and Papa Roach. Both were good, but Papa Roach was much better.

I became hungry and I ate half of a sub, all while balancing two beers in one hand. Somehow I managed to get mayo all over my shoulder. Yes, that takes talent. When you don't even realize that you have globs of mayo on your bare shoulder, that should probably be a sign that you don't need to drink the two beers you have precariously perched in one hand. But, you can't be a waster in a society such as ours. If I learned anything from listening to Guster, it is that the apocalypse is bound to come at any moment, and if it is going to happen, I'd prefer to be completely drunk at the end, so I drank those two beers despite already being plastered.

Oh, and you know you have a good friend when they are willing to wipe mayo off your shoulder all the while mocking you for being a cheap, sloppy, mayo-drenched drunk. Thanks!