sweaty non-balls and perverted truckers

Things I would like to do at work today, but can’t because I’m too busy and don’t want to get fired:

  • Not work
  • Not work while sitting outside pretending to work
  • Drive my car to the shady spot at the edge of the parking lot and take a nap in the back seat
  • Get the blanket and pillow out of my car and sleep in an empty office while pretending to be at a meeting
  • Use “spring fever” as a reason for taking sick time

Reasons why "going home" didn't make the list:

  • My commute has gone from the standard 20 minutes to over 45 minutes due either to road construction or the "back way" I am forced to take as a result of road construction
  • If taking the route with construction, being forced to drive less than 5 mph in a car without working air conditioning
  • Truck drivers are perverts. When wearing skirt and tank top (both of which were less revealing when worn at full length in office setting) in an effort to not sweat off the balls I don't have, truck drivers feel the need to honk and rev engines to let you know that they appreciate your lady parts (despite the fact that they are completely covered by clothing)

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