requiem for a dream

I realized this morning that I am not losing my mind. If you had asked me yesterday, I would have said I’d gone crazy, crazy cocoa puffs. I have dreamt of engagement/impending matrimony three nights in a row. I was worried that it might be my subconscious trying to tell me something, something that I should be hoping for, since I couldn’t quite figure out what else would have spurred on such a dream.

One of my thoughts about the impetus for the dreams was the man’s behavior as of late. He has been acting rather affectionate by normal standards. This is not to say that he normally is lacking in that department, but the past two weeks he has been more affectionate than normal, touting me as “the best girlfriend ever” to friends and coworkers.

So, in my dream world, I have been dreaming of becoming affianced. The man is rarely in my dreams in the physical sense, and sometimes I am looking in at someone I believe to be myself (and sometimes Sandra Bullock) so who the hell knows what that means. My upcoming birthday was another event I suspected as leading to the dreams. Both of which led me to think that I might really, deep down be hoping for a proposal, which is not at all like what my awake mind manifests as near-future milestones.

But, today, it was brought to my attention a reason that would have me thinking wedding bells that has nothing to do with either me or the man. Yay! My coworker friend is pressing her boyfriend for a ring/commitment. We’ve had lengthy discussions about this. I don’t know why I didn’t think about this before? Maybe because I’m selfish…maybe because I’m forgetful. But, either way, I’m out of the hot seat and am free to go on being merry and not thinking about being tied down or questioning my sanity in terms of up and deciding to follow societal norms of marriage. Whew…what a relief.

PS: This is not to say that I would never want to be married - but I don't think I (or we) have reached that point as of yet.

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