naming of the shrew

The following is a transcript of a snippet from yesterday's conversation about baby names with my brother.

Me: what would you have named the baby if it had been a girl?

Brother: I can't tell you.

Me: but you told Mom after Brady [first nephew] was born.

Brother: we told Mom because we knew she'd forget. And she did.

Me: but I won't be having any kids so I won't steal it.

Brother: you'd probably use it for a dog, cat, rabbit, or whatever weird animal you people find next.

Me: I would so not use it for a rabbit.

Brother: we would never be able to name our kid that name if you used it for a pet.

Me: fine, I'll just name any new pets after your existing kids' names and then you'll be sorry. Then I'll call Mom and Dad and tell them that Brady was just licking his butthole, but I won't tell them that "Brady" is my pet and not their grandson.

Brother: I'm still not going to tell you.

Me: then you're just a dickface.

*Note: apparently you never outgrow the need to call your siblings stupid names when a conversation doesn't go your way.

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