random question thursday

What is the one thing you would like to change most about yourself?

This doesn't need to be a physical trait, but could be one. It could also be an aspect of your personality or something else that makes you who you are. This isn't what your other, your parents, your workmates, or your friends would change about you: it is the thing about yourself that if you changed, you would be happier as a whole.

I know what mine would be right off the bat. It isn't looks-related, doesn't have to deal with money or relationships, and isn't even about work. It is about my debilitating fear of failure. If I could change one aspect of my Trishness, it would be to stop worrying and being so damned afraid of not living up to my potential all of the time.

My fear of failure sometimes keeps me from trying new things because I'm petrified of not doing well. This fear is what often leads to my procrastination. It is also tied to my fear of commitment. I'm afraid of committing to something and not having it work out.

I've been trying to push out of my comfort zone, and in many ways this new position at work is making me do that even more than I want to with all of the added responsibility. Of course, with that added responsibility leads to more fear and worry, worry about how it will affect my relationship with the man for example. I need to stop this cycle of worry.

Exercising more has helped stave off the worrying a bit. It allows me to turn off my brain for long enough to experience some semblance of much-needed calm.

Now that you know what I'd change, think about yourself...what would you change about yourself?

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