I had an optometry appointment today. It was a follow-up to make sure that my eyes are not being destroyed from the inside because I've switched to a new brand of contact lenses. News was good - my eyes are not being destroyed. I have, however, been given a sample of a contact lens solution that WILL EAT MY EYES if I don't use it properly. I do not like the idea of this, but will try it nonetheless. I am confident in my ability to follow instructions, so I am hoping that the BURNING OF MY RETINAS will be foregone.
In other news, I will be having my bi-annual dental exam today. Yippee. This means panoramic x-rays of my chompers. I am hoping that the x-ray machine accidentally shoots its magic into my ovaries and takes out any chance of offspring. I am hoping this because I once again broached the topic of vasectomy with the man last night. I've been telling him that it is a simple, nearly painless, outpatient procedure and that he should just man up and do it. It would ultimately save us hundreds of dollars each year (condoms, birth control prescription). Yet, he claims that he doesn't want anyone going near his testicles with any sharp objects. I reminded him that I have a sharp mind and that he should have the surgery if he would like my head going anywhere near his man-package in the future. He did not concur.
NOTE: Sperm is made of broken futures, not candy and rainbows as some people believe.