it has begun

I spoke on the phone to a very good friend last night. I friend from graduate school who once stayed with me in my one bedroom apartment for a while after her divorce. That is how good of a friend she is. This friend is now pregnant, and while I'm quite happy for her and her husband, it is marking new stage in my life as well. What is that stage, you ask? The stage where the friends I have chosen in my adult life are now choosing to create babies on purpose.

I don't dislike kids, I just dislike the thought of kids coming out of my body and then wanting me to take care of them. I like my nephews (more posting about the holiday weekend will follow when the thought of the events of the weekend stops making me throw up in my mouth a little). I am not worried about this particular friend changing as a result of the baby, but I do worry that I'm about to become that friend "who doesn't understand because she doesn't have kids."

I've had friends with children before, but they have always already had the children when we've become friends. And yet, I've still become "the friend who doesn't understand."

The question is, how do you "understand" when you are purposely protecting yourself to avoid ever having to "understand" what it is like to be a parent?

1 comment:

Ms. Jane said...

I've been "the friend who doesn't understand" for about five years already to like six different people. You get over it. The beautiful thing about this, is, when there children are behaving badly, which is inevitable, you just say "I wouldn't raise MY kid like that" or "My kid would never do that," and no one can question you because obviously there is no child to disprove this statement! Seeing how people change after they have kids sucks. The friend you are talking about always has had a kind of "maternal" type way about her, so I expect she probably won't be any different after child is born. I just hooe she doesn't give it a stupid name like those people in Hollywood.