6.20.2006

evaluation 3 - spikes

I'm working on the idea that I am not meant to be a consistently ambitious individual. I go through phases where I think it would be a good idea if I cooked more, or cleaned more, or ate healthier foods, or was nicer. Then, I wake up one morning and think "enough of that" and go back to my normal standards. I think of this instability as the line on a heart monitor - I'm happy with the norm for a given amount of time then, on a whim, decide to drastically alter my life only to return to the lull of normalcy once again.

Don't get me wrong, these spikes are good - I finished a multitude of yard projects over the past two weekends when I was on a landscaping upswing. That stint has now been replaced with the healthy eating kick (which includes not eating my favorite meals of nachos and/or cheeseburgers five times per week).

My spikes are an addiction. The only constant thing in the spikes is that I am constantly on one in one area of my life, fleeting as each spike may be. I go on music spikes (currently I am ingesting the Death Cab for Cutie "Plans" cd at a rotation of five times per work day). I go on food spikes (Fresca and cheese popcorn - this spike lasted four months and got me to a point where those two products were the only sustenance I wanted). I go on writing spikes (I wrote 23 handwritten letters/cards last month - not to mention multidunious e-mails).

Instead of being happy with the humdrum quotidian life I lead, I must snazz it up with some sort of "look at me, I do this, I am interesting and amazing" mentality - even if it only lasts a few weeks. I believe I will work on cutting down the frequencey of the spikes, knowing all well that my attempt at ridding myself of spike addiction is in effect its own spike.

No comments: