june 6, 2006: evaluation 1 - i suffer from HRP

I have had to send a letter to an ex-boyfriend explaining that I don't want him to pursue any kind of friendship with me. This was all made abundantly clear when we were still together two years ago - when we broke up, we wouldn't be friends. Apparently, like many of the other things I ever said to him, this also went in one ear and out the other. That brought up a bunch of issues with my current relationship. The man and I are happy, happier than I can ever remember being as a result of a significant other - not that there have been all that many. Now comes the shitty part: I have developed a case of HRP. This is not a disease, not transmittable, not contagious (though I think many people suffer from it without having diagnosed the malady). HRP = Happy Relationship Paranoia. When things are so good, it is a definite failing to think "Oh my god, things could be so much worse than this - what if they get worse - then what?" Oh yes, I am suffering from this now...thank you ex-boyfriend.

The course of action that I will take in regard to ridding myself of HRP is to attempt to avoid overanalysis. I am a constant worrier and I am going to try to chill out. I will learn to let well enough alone and not pass my paranoia on to the man by way of neediness. Although, it would be nice if there were some sort of trend to the acknowledgement of my amazingness...

No comments: